Playing with words

Yesterday I discovered I Write Like and haven't been able to stop playing with it since. I Write Like is a webform that allows you to enter a sample of your own writing and then compares word choice and writing style of famous writers to your own.

Obviously, I felt it was imperative that I approach this analysis with sternly scientific eye and to that end, I've tested almost all the writing I have ever done, not just few paragraphs here and there but the entire stories. Before I continue, let me just reassure you - this test is purely for fun and cannot in any way be taken seriously, the computers are nuance-free and while they may tell you that your writing appears to sound like James Joyce (whom I repeatedly got to my utter dismay and discomfort), believe me when I tell you that it most definitely doesn't. But I am nothing if not thorough (complete lie) and I had to investigate this new toy as extensively as time and prolonged proximity to LCD screen would allow.

My story Casey was found to be reminiscent of James Joyce (in the beginning), Edgar Alan Poe (in the middle) and Stephen King (at the end), however when I analysed the entire story, it was found to be James Joyce-ian. I do a lot of practice writing. In fact, practice writing is pretty much all I do. So, I went through all the bits and pieces of writing I had saved on my computer, even when there were just few random paragraphs here and there and put them all through the I Write Like algorithm. I was surprised to get some consistent results. There was a definite prevalence of Joyce, followed by King and Lovecraft when it came to stories and anything from Dan Brown to Chuck Palahniuk for other bits of writing. Mostly Joyce though (although once Vonnegut and Orwell but I'm sure that was a fluke) and occasionally Lovecraft and King. Now, I find all three of those writers completely unreadable which leads me to believe that my writing is completely and utterly crap. It also leads me to believe that I need to drag my writing by the scruff of its neck into the 21st century (when Sir Terry Pratchett will show up as my right and proper writing influence). However, as I've already posited that this test is not to be taken seriously under any circumstances, I breathe a sigh of relief and carry on as usual.
Some other comparisons I received were:

• JK Rowling for the first story I ever wrote and which is not on this blog because I don't think it's good enough. Erm.
• Margaret Atwood for a writing exercise "Cliches" - where I attempt to write really awful children's prose and succeed with aplomb.
• Daniel Defoe for my story or novelette in progress (I will finish it one day I promise!). Interestingly, this particular story is written in a very peculiar style and I have tested paragraphs from several different chapters - they always come up as Defoe. So that's weird, huh?

As I've run out of samples, for now, I leave you with my latest comparison - Lewis Carroll - for this paragraph:

On the boat that bobbed quietly on the far sea, alone, untethered, whiskey laden and bereft of life, the dead body of a nun in a quilt craned its head towards the sky in mute salutation to unseen forces and untamed potentials where not even a comma nor a full-stop remained not to mention semi-colon or other forms of punctuation as it was the state between the now and the never have been which we mere mortals can but dream and tell stories about.

I write like
Lewis Carroll

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Go on, try it yourself. You know you want to! (and let me know how you get on)



PS  This post is Isaac Asimov. Far out.
PPS For my next batch of tests, I plan to submit writing samples of well known published writers and see what the binary beast comes up with.