Things I Want

I want so many things. The truth of the matter is, there are so many things I want that, when I start to think about them all, I get a bit dizzy and sea sick, as if I am on a tiny boat in a middle of a big storm. Like this:

So, I've decided to write a list about things I want to do. There is probably also a list, somewhere, out there, yet to be written, about the things I want to have and the things I want to be and the things I don't want and the things I wish I haven't done. But, my stomach lurches at the thought of all those lists yet to be thought of and wishes to be captured and put to paper, so I'll start small.

With Things I want to do.

I really really really want to learn to play a fiddle.
Like Seth Lakeman and Vanessa Mae and maybe just a little bit like Joshua Bell. And I'd want to get in with a folk band and tour the countries far and wide with all my four cats in tow. Ahem.

I want to learn Japanese. And I want to visit Japan and go to Gion in Kyoto where I'll dress up in a kimono and be taught a tea ceremony by an ancient retired Geisha. And I also want to visit all the temples and gardens I can stand before my mind melts from too much perfection.

I want to write a book and have it published. It will be a book that becomes a cornerstone of a new genre in fiction and this genre will be called after me, obviously. And while I'm at it, I also want to write and direct a film script for Hollywood and a documentary for Discovery Channel. (no sense in dreaming small, is there now.) And then I want to write another book and another script. And probably another.

I want to hang-glide. What can I say, I always wanted to fly. For a time, I considered the option of parachuting, but it's scary how often those things don't open and I had to recognise that, splatted, my list of things I want will most definitely remain unfulfilled. Then, when I had learned how to hang-glide to my utter satisfaction and when the wind had stripped my skin of all desire to continue flying this way, then I should like to learn to fly a plane. I don't mind which, a Cessna or a F16, I'm quite easy either way.

I want to drive a motorbike. I want to hound down a wavy road on a Ducati or a Harley (again, not too particular either way) and zig zag across the entire of USA and maybe even parts of Switzerland. It would help me enormously if the oncoming traffic could stay the heck out of my way while I'm at it. Thank you in advance.

I want to sing. The way one sings that doesn't make people want to throw rotten vegetables at you or make your other half swear he is leaving-so-help-me-god if you utter one more sound. And then, maybe, I can sing a tune or two while I'm out touring with my folk band, when I'm taking the break from playing the fiddle to rest my fingers. And when I open my mouth, the peopledome will gape with awe and sway this way and that as if in a trance. And when I'm done, there will be so much applause that their fingers will hurt but they won't feel it because they'll still be completely enraptured from my awesome singing. Ahem.

I want to dance the tango. I want to dance it the way it was meant to be danced, the Argentine Tango. The way they did it in the Naked Tango when I couldn't help but fall hopelessly in love with Vincent D'Onofrio. And while I'm on the subject of Vincent, I really want him to play me in the film version of my life. I know it's a bit unorthodox, a guy playing a girl, but it's not new, it has been done that way in the time of old and no reason why it can not be done again. It will be like Victor Victoria, but completely different.

I want to surf on the New Zealand beaches and then have my palm read by the alternative lifestyle people who live there. They will tell me about what my future has in store and I will tell them about the 15 million old coconut fossil found on their beach. They are probably like Amish and don't read the Wikipedia, so that'll make me look way cool.

I want to partake in an original sweat lodge. None of that flaky nouveau age stuff. Proper, honest to god, reservation stuff I'm talking about here. Not sure if the real ones allow foreign women in the sweat lodge but hey, this is what I want and they are bound to make an exception for me. I will go into a trance and meet all my ancestors and ask the fabled uncle of yore where he had hidden the pot of gold that the family had been telling tales about for over 40 years. Just kidding. I will go into a trance and ask my guide animal spirit about stuff.

I want to fish. With a boat or waist deep in the river. Doesn't matter. What is important and what does matter is that I gut and clean the fish I catch and cook it over a slow fire, right there on the side of the water, while the sun daintily dips behind the horizon and the early evening wind fills the air with ozone and lushness.

image from naturalpatriot.org